Have you ever wondered why people often look at the faces of those they are listening to? This behavior feels natural and automatic and, in many cultures, it is polite to make eye contact during conversation. In this article, we explore how visual information influences how we understand speech and show that understanding speech can be the work of both the ears and the eyes! Can a Speaker’s Facial Movements Help Us Hear?
Looking at a person when they speak is helpful because their mouth and facial movements provide useful clues about what is being said.
It turns out that we can use our eyes to help understand speech, especially when that speech is difficult to hear clearly. Why, then, do we usually look at the face of the person we are listening to? Could it be that our eyes are also involved in understanding speech? We designed an experiment in which we asked people to try to comprehend speech in different listening conditions, such as someone speaking amid loud background noise. Paul Graves serves as the chair for the Conference Commission on Older Adult Ministries for the PNWUMC.Understanding people when they are speaking seems to be an activity that we do only with our ears. Oxytocin image courtesy of Wikipedia author, MindZiper. The authors call this understanding the “Chemistry of Conversation.” That term is even stronger when we remember the original meaning of Conversation is “to live together” (14th century meaning, folks.) So let us remember: ears are important, yes but the heart helps your ears hear better.Ĭortisol image by Ben Mills. This is Oxytocin, a feel-good hormone that helps us “communicate, collaborate and trust others by activating networks in our prefrontal cortex.” In a more positive, mutually-respectful conversation, another hormone is released. To briefly summarize: if someone speaks to us in negative, even fearful ways and we aren’t ready for it, a hormone called Cortisol is released at high levels.Ĭortisol can “shut down the thinking center of our brains and activate conflict aversion and protection behaviors…Cortisol functions like a sustained-release tablet - the more we ruminate about our fear, the longer the impact.” The authors, Judith and Richard Glaser, wrote about “The Neurochemistry of Positive Conversation”. In an intriguing article in the Harvard Business Review from June 2014, I confirmed a suspicion I’ve had about how brain chemistry affects how we listen. This dynamic makes listening all the more important.īack in late December 2015, when I led a Geezer Forum in Sandpoint (Idaho) on listening, I began with the statement that “Listening is a Full-Body Experience!” Complicating the interaction further is the reality that brain chemistry is actually a significant player in the conversation also. If the relationship between these people is “unequal” (like manager-employee, parent-child, etc.), the need for empathetic listening that communicates significant respect between both persons is crucial. The talker feels accepted at some important level, even if the listener might not actually agree with what is being said.īut if the two people get into a verbal space where tensions between them are obvious to both? Is helpful listening a fatal casualty? Sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be. “Good listeners” project a level of empathy or a sense of caring about the person who is speaking. Yes, we must select, make a choice, to listen - even when we hear just fine. That has more to do with the process we call listening.
But that is usually different from “selective hearing”. What can I do about it?” If you’ve been tempted to say something like these comments - or have in fact said them (!) - I invite you to consider a little-considered secret: listening doesn’t really begin with the literal ears, but with the metaphorical heart! A spouse or parent may have a definite hearing issue (even when wearing hearing aids). “You don’t listen to me anymore!” “My spouse has selective hearing. Listening: It does not just involve ears!
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